


Love, You're Not Alone

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, First Kiss, First War with Voldemort, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:19:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: "When the war started, they were optimistic. How could they not be?They got the first shock when Marlene’s family was killed. It wasn’t hypothetical anymore, that one of them might die."





	Love, You're Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “Hi, amazing prongsfoot writers :) I read your prompting rules but I was wondering, can the prompt be anything? Like, songs, dialogue, situation, etc. Because there's a song (Stand by you - Rachel Plettern) that screams Prongsfoot to me ;) if you could write something, it'd be great! But I'd understand it if you said it's a bit too general... Thank you! Keep up the good job! Cheers :)” I... basically put this song on repeat while writing this, and then quoted it at the end *shrug*
> 
> Originally posted on [tumblr](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com/post/162303611635/hi-amazing-prongsfoot-writers-i-read-your)

When the war started, they were optimistic. How could they not be? They were on the right side, they were young, and they hadn’t lost anyone yet, not really. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had died last year, but that was from dragon pox, not the war, and they were old besides. It had hurt, yes, and it had changed both James and Sirius, but it wasn’t the reality of war.

They got the first shock when Marlene’s family was killed. It wasn’t hypothetical anymore, that one of them might die. They’d all met Marlene’s parents, had dinner at their house… and now it was torn apart, blood spattered on the same rug that Sirius had curled up on, the chair Remus had declared his undying love for was splintered and near-unrecognisable, and the tea set Peter thought was beautiful was shattered.

Marlene died a week later. Dumbledore told them that Voldemort had killed her himself.

James was closer to her from years on the Quidditch team together. “She wanted to play professionally,” he said to Sirius in their flat that night after the Order’s service for her. “She almost didn’t join the Order over it, you know? And I even told her, I said, ‘Marls, if you want to play pro, do it, you won’t get a chance like this again, the rest of us can survive without you.’ And, you know, she looked tempted. She was actually going to go, but then she said that she had to stay because it was the right thing to do, and if she left what was to stop dozens of other people from doing the same.” He shook his head, ripping his glasses off and pressing the heels of his hand to his eyes. “She should’ve gone.”

Sirius wrapped his arms around James. “Marlene was always going to stay. Maybe she had to think about it first, but she was always going to be here.” _There isn’t anything you could’ve done,_ he wanted to say but knew it wasn’t what James needed nor wanted to hear. “She knew the risks, just as we do.”

“Do we really?” James asked, voice thick. “Can you imagine being in Dorcas and Lily’s position?”

Sirius swallowed. “That’s-that’s different.”

“Why, because it’s you?”

Sirius didn’t react to his harsh tone. “In case you didn’t notice James, I’m not dating anyone.”

“And if you started?”

“Who am I going to meet in the middle of a war? It’s not like I’d bugger off to go be in love, and abandon you, so stop worrying.”

James let out a sound that was half-laugh, half-sob, and then he couldn’t stop crying. At some point, he turned into Sirius’s shoulder, soaking the fabric. Sirius couldn’t help the tears slipping down his own face as he held him, but with every hitched breath, it reminded him that they were both alive. For how much longer, he didn’t know, but gods did he hope they met death at the same time. A world without James wasn’t a place he wanted to consider living in.

“Do you really think,” James said, “that I would miss you less because we aren’t dating?”

“No, it’s just that- it’s, well- it’s different,” he finished lamely.

“I love you. We aren’t dating, but I love you. Wouldn’t that make it the same?” There was a desperate edge to James’s words, and Sirius was so, so confused.

“It doesn’t mean you’d miss me any less or more than Lily and Dorcas miss Marlene, it’s just _different_. I mean, I love you too Jamie, but we aren’t _in_ love.”

“Maybe _you’re_ not,” he mumbled, smooshing his face in Sirius’s chest as if it would ensure Sirius couldn’t react to what he said.

“No, no, no,” Sirius said lightly-- or as light as he could, which wasn’t much at the moment-- tapping James on the back pointedly. “Come back up here and explain Messer Prongs.”

James held him tighter. “Like you don’t already know.”

Sirius frowned down at him. “I don’t, James. I’m completely lost here.”

“I’m in love with you,” he said, and Sirius froze. “I don’t know how you haven’t noticed, everyone else has.”

“...But you said-- you _told me_ \-- that you weren’t interested.” He very specifically remembered that happening.

James moved back in shock to look at him. “What? When did I _ever_ say that?”

“In Hogwarts! Your mum and dad were traveling, so we stayed at the castle for Winter Solstice that year, and I asked you out and you said no.”

“Winter Sol- Si that was fourth year!”

He blinked, not seeing James’s point. “So?”

James stared at him flatly. His eyes were still puffy and irritated from when he’d been crying, but in that moment he was channeling all his energy into letting Sirius know how big a moron he thought he was being. “I was fourteen, and determined to be the best chaser in the school; I wasn’t thinking about dating. Wait. Wait a goddamn second. Are you telling me, that because of something I said when I was _fourteen_ , you didn’t notice I was in love with you _now_?”

Sirius opened his mouth, then shut it again. “It sounds stupid when you say it like that.”

“How else could I say it?” he challenged, raising his eyebrows.

“I dunno, some way that doesn’t make me sound like a berk.”

“So, no way.”

“You’re so mean to me. Here I am, the love of your life, and you would rather say mean things to me, than kiss me.”

“Who said you’re the love of my life?”

“I did, just now. Honestly, James, pay attention.”

James laughed, fisting his hand in Sirius’s shirt and bringing them together. James kissed him firmly, once, twice, then said, “You’re staying by me, yeah?”

“I’d walk through hell with you, Jamie.”

“Not heaven?”

Sirius gave a sad chuckle and picked up James’s glasses from where he’d dropped them. “I wouldn’t count on us finding it anytime soon, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I started a prompt driven blog at [imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr! Drop by, send in a prompt ;)


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